Body Hair, Preconceived Notions & Femininity

This post came about because of a blog post written for Glamour magazine (there is explicit discussions about sexuality in this article and how it’s intertwined with body hair, so it’s definitely nsfw, but a GREAT read if you’re comfortable with that). This post was also written because of the subsequent discussion from it after it was posted in one of my cloth pad and RUMPs Facebook groups. I found it super interesting and almost enlightening how open and honest people with vulvae can be about something purely personal to them. So cool! But that’s probably just my thing, I love learning about things regarding the female reproductive system (stemming from a life of struggle with my own 😂)! But anyways, here we go, get ready for a (not so wild) ride on my opinions, my experiences, and an overview on the interactions between body hair and femininity!
originalblueI recently told my best friend of eight years that I have never shaved my legs. We grew up together, having met in sixth grade, and she had never noticed my leg hair until we moved in together and she was laying on them looking for it. She was surprised, to a degree I was not expecting, and even said she was jealous. I was blessed in this life with super thin barely there body hair so I got really lucky in terms of modern societal expectations, but I also believe that someone who has quadruple the density of body hair compared to me should have the same ability to not shave and still not be ridiculed for that choice.

I have such sensitive skin, I have never been able to find a deodorant that my underarm skin doesn’t react to to some degree. Not like, “just a light itch”, more like blistering burning incredibly painful rash that I would scratch at in my sleep. Even before I wore deodorant, I would get heat rashes under my arms and in the creases of my elbows and knees. That’s not something I ever ever want to mess with.

I have a super low pain tolerance (waxing any part of my body was and will never be an option), and my personal hatred for shaving is ever present so there aren’t really many options. Not to mention, I really don’t want to! I never even got a shaving or period talk from my parents, not even just the facts, so I’m kinda messed up in terms of societal expectations. I just… don’t care!

My mother and I have a close friend that insists that women HAVE to shave their armpits and pubic hair for “cleanliness”, that there is something that makes women different from men that forces them to NEED to do it. But that comes off to me like a disposable pad or tampon or douche commercial from the 80s. Like, “feeling not so fresh?”. Sure…

(p.s. about that ad, no modern doctor would ever “recommend” putting vinegar in your vagina, oh my god. how to majorly throw off the pH of your body 101. We have learned more about the human body since 1981, believe it or not.)

We know the scientific purpose and benefits of body hair, but we also have the ability to effectively and safely remove it. It is a personal choice that adults should be able to make. As long as said body hair isn’t causing harm to you or impacting your person, I’m fine. Judge me all you want, only I can control how “clean” I am. Like, that “shaving = cleanliness because women are different biologically” is a pretty staunch post-WWII era belief, when most women were forced back out of the workforce and into more traditionally feminine jobs and housewifery. During the war and before, shaving was not 75% of what it is now. Just like the rise in disposable feminine products, imagine how much the body hair removal industry makes off of feminine insecurity created by societal expectations and preconceived notions.

It’s okay to shave for a partner as long as they aren’t making you do it (which is unhealthy in general) or making you feel bad about your body because of your body hair. If you are in that situation, here are some things to remember:

Your body hair is there for a reason, your body wouldn’t grow it if it was inherently gross or unclean. Maintain good overall hygiene and there’s nothing to worry about. Body hair will always be a trendy topic, and there’s nothing wrong with experimenting or never even touching it. As an adult human, be conscious of your own self worth and your ability to make decisions for yourself regardless of others. Know that your body is the one thing you will always have, and will always be in. It’s your body, and yours alone. Own it, take care of it, and be your best version of yourself for you.

3 Ways I Make My Mornings Better!

I will admit it honestly and openly; I am not a morning person. I don’t like getting up and out of bed, and sometimes when I have to get up and going super fast, it usually makes me feel sick. Most of the time I take the night owl approach and get everything I need to get done after lunch time. Scandalous, I know, the beauty of working at home / being on gap year. However, there are some things that I do every single time on those mornings when I just have to get stuff done!

  • Get your skincare and prep done! And don’t skip it!
    1. This one seems obvious, but go through your skincare routine. I know it’s super tempting to just roll out of bed, splash some water on your face, and head out the door, but don’t!
    2. Cleanse your skin, and moisturize at least. It will give you a second to think, breathe, and clear out any negative energy you may have going on. I also like to apply a scented body cream in the morning to moisturize my skin, and then my fragrance.
    3. Obviously, I’m a night showerer, so this really simplifies my schedule, but if you need to shower in the morning don’t put it off until the last second. Do it right after you eat breakfast or get your coffee going and get it done! This will give you time simply do what you have to to get out of the door on time.
  • Speaking of food, eat something!
    1. I know it can be hard to eat in the morning. Western and European bellies normally eat large meals later in the day that can sustain us to midmorning. However, this leads to a drop in blood sugar, and can lead us to becoming overly hungry and then overeating.
    2. I would suggest finding something that doesn’t upset your stomach and sticking to it. Whether that’s eggs and spinach, a green smoothie, or even my Banana Chocolate Smoothie that tastes just like a Wendy’s frosty. (Which I most definitely have eaten for breakfast, sorry not sorry, who wouldn’t love a healthy dessert for breakfast?). Find something yummy that you like that can nourish your body and maintain your blood sugar to prevent hunger spikes!
      1. Note that I included two liquid options here. Often Western people do the best with liquid breakfast foods. It makes for easy consumption, preparation, and absorption of nutrients. I don’t personally support juicing, but a good high speed blender can make a world of difference in your diet. Get your fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, etc. in there and make yourself a nutritious drink that will get you to lunch the healthy way. Get those calories! They’re what keep you going.
  • Take a breath!
    1. You know, morning can be the most stressful time of the day. Take some time as you’re going through your routine to take a breath, or even integrate some meditation into your routine.
      1. Each morning when I sit down to do my makeup or skincare I turn on some meditative music and just pause every so often to breath, like when I’m waiting for my eyeliner or mascara to dry.
      2. On days when I don’t have to go out right away, when I wake up I’ll ease myself into the day with meditation. I made a vlog on meditation around a year ago, and it really has transformed me, and helped with my anxiety tremendously. In the description of that video, I gave some examples of music I love for meditation, but I will include them under the “Continue Reading” break as well.

As you probably can tell, I have my mornings about sussed. I don’t think I will ever magically love getting up at the break of dawn. But, I have found my own ways to deal with feeling stress, anxiety and negativity in the whirlwind that can be the mornings.

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